Making friends or fitting in doesn’t have to be hard, does it?
For some reason, for some people it is and always will be. Whether you are outgoing or not, young or old, short or tall, liberal or conservative, introvert or extrovert, have kids or don’t, love cats or dogs, for some reason it is hard to find a place where you fit. No matter where you are at in life the “in crowd” will always elude you.
Does it have to be this way?
In my opinion, I don’t think it does, but who am I, an outsider, to say. When you are younger, and I mean 24 and younger, you think when you get older that it will be easier to make new friends and get along with people, but the truth is, it’s not. There may be some new friendships you develop along the way, but those are special and the exception. The majority of people meet the friends they will have for the rest of their life by their mid twenties. At this point most people are done with school, have found a job, and are really focusing on those few great friends they have known for a while or met in college or at their new job. By that time a lot of people are stuck in their ways or have too much going on to even care about bringing new people into their life.
The lucky people that find new friends are the outgoing ones. The ones that have that certain quality that you never seem to possess. The ones that are able to treat you as though they have known you for a long time, but just met you. The ones that everyone seems to get along with.
But what happens when you are the person that has anxiety or just has problems interacting with people? What happens when you want to be friends with the new people who seem great, but for some reason nothing you do works? And you try to interact more, but sometimes that ends up bad because the words you use come out wrong or the actions you take are taken the wrong way, so you end up just staying in your own little corner. You feel like you did something wrong. Maybe you just aren’t outgoing enough. Maybe you don’t talk enough. Maybe you are too nice. Maybe you just aren’t good at making friends.
Maybe it is you, but maybe it’s not. Sometimes it is going to be you. You aren’t open enough or you just don’t have the right personality. Other times it’s other people. Maybe they just don’t feel a connection to you like they do others and they don’t like trying to have superficial friendships. Maybe your personality doesn’t quite match. All these things are okay. You aren’t going to be friends with everyone.
But this all just sucks because no matter why the friendship doesn’t work or why it isn’t the way you feel it should be, you are still going to feel bad about it.
But keep your chin up because out there somewhere, whether you have found them already or not, you have one or a few friends that are the best ones that you will ever have. And in the end having that one friend or those few friends that will always be there with and for you is all that matters.